I started training Jiu Jitsu because all of my life I had been both mentally and physically weak but something inside of me always felt like I could be more. I had a particularly abusive childhood, and at the age of 17 I was the victim of a violent sexual assault that I was fortunate to survive. Before I started training BJJ, At nearly 30 years old I was walking through life with a cloud of helplessness and insecurity hanging over me. I was reclusive, suffered from depression and anxiety. With three daughters of my own looking up to me, I felt like I had to do something to change my story. I wanted to be stronger and to learn how to defend myself and my children if I ever needed to. I remember the actual night that I sat down at my computer and researched Martial arts. I decided on Brazilian Jiu Jitsu because it was said that it’s supposed to level the playing field when you’re up against someone who is bigger and stronger. It sounded exactly like what I was looking for.
I found the closest Bjj gym and with a loaner Gi on I stepped on the mat for the first time 2.5 years ago. I was 210 lbs, unathletic, surrounded by a group of strangers and totally out of my element. I was so scared. But by the end of the first class I was hooked. It would be difficult to put into words the feeling that told me this was for me- it broke down barriers with strangers and it immediately destroyed that comfort zone I’d grown accustomed to. I felt welcome, that I could belong…
Today I’m a 155 lb blue belt competitor, a strong and confident woman, a proud mother who’s an example to her daughter’s, and a peaceful content human being in general all thanks to Jiu Jitsu. The person I used to be is gone.
The Gracie gym has given me an extended family I never knew that I needed! I’ve trained in several gyms, but have ultimately settled into my home at Gracie gym because they provide a unique environment of support and encouragement for women in this sport/Martial art that I had never experienced before. There’s a huge variety in training partners to choose from in every class and they have what believe to be the best instruction you will find anywhere.
The support of my teammates keeps me going, the small victories keep me going, and the losses drive me to do better. I wish I had started training earlier in life, but better late than never. I’m so happy to enjoy my journey in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with my Gracie family and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.
Jiu Jitsu has given me more than I asked of it. It has given me more than I ever could have imagined possible. I found myself and who I was meant to be through training. I’m no longer defined by my past, but by the future and the possibilities.
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