Before I explain the overwhelmingly positive influence Gracie Gym and Jiu-Jitsu has had on me, I should explain a little bit about myself. Ever since I was young, I have been plagued by debilitating mental illness. In my very early teens, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, dysthymia, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc. Essentially a bunch of big words that meant my brain didn’t work how it should have.
I struggled in my day to day life, and I went through some very difficult social experiences that left me even more emotionally crippled than before. I began self-harming and shortly after I attempted to kill myself. I was obviously unsuccessful, but the attempt managed to land me a space in the local pediatric hospital’s inpatient facility. I spent two painful weeks there, and it would not be my last stay. Being forced to stay in a foreign facility with strangers only worsened my symptoms. By the time I was discharged, I could not spend more than a few minutes in an enclosed building, besides my house, without suffering a panic attack. I ended up having to redo my 8th grade year, because I couldn’t step foot into the building. I was in bad shape.
Fast forward 4 years of numerous medications and therapists later. I was still miserable. The idea of suicide was still floating around my head. I had managed to overcome the whole building anxiety thing, but only after years of therapy. I knew that I needed something to boost my confidence, increase my self-esteem, and just all-in-all make me a healthier person, both mentally and physically. That is when I found Gracie Gym.
I had done a few martial arts when I was a kid, but never jiu-jitsu. All of them were utterly dissatisfying. I was inspired to try it out after hearing about how effective it was as a martial art by people I admired, and that it wasn’t just about doing a bunch of goofy looking stances and kicking a mat every now-and-then. I googled “brazilian jiu-jitsu near me”, and GracieGym was the closest gym to me. I didn’t realize how lucky I was at the time. I remember being welcomed by nearly everybody in the gym, and the intense anxiety I had about taking a class quickly faded away. I signed up immediately after my trial class.
It has now been almost eight months, and though I am still extremely new to jiu-jitsu, I have fallen in love with it. My mind is in the right place now, and I haven’t contemplated suicide in months. I have started feeling happy again. It had been so long since I felt true happiness, it was hard to even understand what I was feeling. Who do I have to thank for this? Gracie Gym. I honestly don’t even think I would be writing this right now if I hadn’t walked in for that one trial class. I have GracieGym and jiu-jitsu to thank for my life, and that is one heck of an IOU.
I want to personally thank all my professors and coaches, along with all of my amazing teammates. You guys practically saved my life. Thank you so, so much.
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