I am very new to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Many years ago, I had the opportunity to take Japanese Jiu Jitsu and learn the fundamentals. Unfortunately, I got busy with two jobs and college and I had to give it up. I have always been a fighter though. I grew up in a single parent household in a bad neighborhood so I had to learn how to defend myself at an early age.
Because I was so concentrated in school and work, I didn’t start to date until I was 22. The first man I had a serious relationship with seemed like a knight in shining armor until I got pregnant and decided to move in with him to be a “family”. Shortly after, I got to know the true colors of this person. I found out he was cheating on me and confronted him about it. That was the first time he put his hands on me. He blamed me for his cheating and hurting me. This continued for a couple of years. I would come home from work wondering if he was in one of his moods that day. One day he would be sweet as molasses and another he would be triggered by any little thing. I would ask myself, “why do I allow this? You are a fighter. You know how to fight. He shouldn’t be able to put a finger on you.” He had broken me mentally. I was ashamed of the bruises and allowing this to happen.
All it took was just one day of being pushed and pushed until I snapped. This man is much taller than I but I managed to work myself around him and put him in a chokehold until he passed out. He came back to but he never touched me again.
Now, years later, I still deal with PTSD from the domestic abuse. Not too long ago, one of my friends invited me to an Open Mat at Gracie Gym. Since then, the fighter in me has come out again. I am hungry to learn and find the inner strength that I know I have. I feel privileged to be part of the Gracie family and can’t wait to make them proud.
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